Tag Archives: emotion

Life, Relationship

How Do You Say Goodbye?

My Grandpa was diagnosed with stage four soft cell cancer, he received chemotherapy and radiation therapy. The treatments extended his life for two years, now they say he only has a matter of days left and its time to say goodbye.

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Life, Relationship

Forgiveness

How do you do it?

Obviously there are a lot of things that aren’t forgivable, but what inside ourselves as people decides what is and isn’t forgivable.

I’m not talking about rape or murder obviously those kinds of things are morally wrong and near impossible to forgive, even if you were to find it in your heart to forgive, it’s not always easy to let it go. anyway,

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Free Writing, Life, Relationship, Uncategorized

Busy!!!

She felt each word like a burning needle in her chest, her heart was being tore apart.

She wanted him to be the one, they were just too different of people, they could not make things work.

He would make her the happiest girl in the world only to turn around and make her feel like the worst person alive.

She would be sweet to him, then like a flip of the switch she’d turn defensive and speak to him like he were an enemy.

No matter how hard they tried they could not force their love to work in their favor. 
C.R/F.G

Been super busy lately with my new job, the hours have kicked my ass! It’s not that there are to many hours that I’m working it’s only around 40 a week, it’s the fact that the time I work changes every day, it’s making having a legit sleep schedule ridiculous.

I miss writing so much! over the next few weeks I’m going to try to write in my free time instead of nap. Hopefully something I would love to share comes out!

Controversy, Life, Uncategorized

Seven Days.

Aside

I decided to give something a shot, I am having financial issues as I’ve said, and I am wanting to get back into shape. I don’t recommend anyone to try this method without seeing a physician first and getting the okay. The Liquid Diet can be a safe and effective weight to cleanse your body and lose weight, HOWEVER the way I am performing the liquid diet is not an ideal way to do it.  I cannot afford to buy vitamins to supplement what I am losing from the lack of foods, and i am definitely not getting enough calories from the liquids I am using.  Basically I am pushing anorexia which is not safe at all.

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Free Writing, Relationship

3:00AM Wake Up Call – Free Writing

I was lying down reading when he let himself in the house, he was quiet, and I was on the couch. I thought my roommate may have been sleep walking, I had heard her door open then close but the walking had stopped in front of the couch I was lying on.

I used the flash light on my phone to see what was going on and shined it in his face; he was just standing there looking lost and confused.

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Free Writing

Shattered

He said things always so kind, never a word to hurt another and still she feared he would hurt her even if it wasn’t intentional. How could she go on pretending she was not scared? The fear and pain of struggle had to be playing on her face, surely her mask of pleasant smiles and bright eyes was crumbling as he gazed at her.

She could not tell if he noticed anything, his crooked smile reached all the way up to his eyes, she couldn’t help but return her own shaking grin. She wanted to tell him that she trusted, with all her heart, in his kind words, gentle kisses, sweet strong hugs. She just couldn’t bring herself to say it though, the small voice screamed in her head telling her that it was too good to be true and things would end just as they had before, that if she lets her heart out from behind the carefully crafted wall she had built to protect herself, that her world would come crashing down, crumble into tiny pieces, like a glass hand mirror shattering as it hits the ground.

She saw his smiles start to wilt around the edges, just like a dying rose, the corners of his mouth folding into a more concerned look. She knew then that she had let her mask completely slip, he had seen everything now, he had to know that she was having these doubts and memories. The pain in her eyes had to be raw and open on her face.

He lifted a hand to brush the hair from her eyes, then he played his hand under her chin, lifting her head slightly so he could clearly see in her, “You’re worried about something, I can see it in your eyes, what is it my darling? Have I done something to cause you distress? Whatever it is I will fix it!”. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault that it was all things from her past, but the words just sat left unsaid on her lips, tears formed in her eyes. She wished so badly that she could turn back time just at least to five minutes ago, so she could be in more control of her emotions and facial expressions. He kept looking at her with such loving eyes, she reached her hand up involuntarily, cupping her hand on his cheek.

She was ever this forward, she always waited for the guy to place his hands on her, she never felt worthy enough to have her hands anywhere but at her sides with her eyes down unless she was directly spoken to. She knew he could sense the anxiety in the way her body was shaking, he pressed her hand down firmly against his face, she could feel the stubble on his rough face, each hair just breaking the surface of his skin, along with the warmth pouring into her freezing hands, she hadn’t realized she was so cold until just then. She looked up into his face and saw his eyes closed, his face all soft lines and his smile was starting to come back.

She didn’t understand what was happening at first when he had slid his other hand around her waist so quickly pulling her close to him, she could smell his soap and cologne, not very strong but enough to make him smell absolutely amazing. Her body pressed tightly against his and he bent down eyes slightly open just so he could make sure she wasn’t protesting, and he kissed her lightly at first, just a brush of the lips, then he pulled her tighter she didn’t think it was possible be he managed it, and he started to explore her mouth with his and her hand found its way behind his head, locked into his perfect soft hair.